So last year, I nearly broke my own company.

Not through some dramatic scandal or financial disaster. Through well-intentioned decisions that created unintended consequences. Through hierarchy that divided instead of united. Through staying silent when I should have spoken.

Here's something I've wanted to do for a while (and I don't think I've heard any other leader do this): sit down with one of my teammates and unpack it all. Publicly. On a podcast (How I Work). So others could learn from the mess. Or at very least, feel less alone in theirs.

That teammate was Aly Solly, and you can listen to Part 1 of our very honest conversation on How I Work today. Part 2 drops next week.

This conversation was hard.

Admitting where I got it wrong as a leader? Uncomfortable. Doing it when you're someone who helps other organisations find better ways to work? The irony wasn't lost on me.

Here's where the unravelling started: structure.

At the beginning of 2024, I created what made perfect sense on paper. Different groupings. Some hierarchy. Clear areas of responsibility. Every leadership book would've approved.

Except instead of aligning people, it divided them.

Should I have seen it coming? Absolutely. Did I? Absolutely not.

I developed a paralysing fear of saying the wrong thing.

Every word felt scrutinised. What if I’m cancelled? What if this is the sentence that breaks trust forever?

So I censored myself. Hid experiences that might’ve actually helped. Tried to be "authentic and vulnerable" while simultaneously saying nothing real. Perhaps not surprisingly, my silence created more distance between myself and my team than any truth (no matter how unpopular or unpleasant) would have.

Meanwhile, back-channels became the team's communication method of choice. Someone has feedback for a colleague? Better not tell them directly. Instead, tell their manager. Or their work friend. Or anyone except the actual person. (And yes, everyone knew how much I hated this behaviour. Didn’t stop it happening.)

(Re)building trust became my biggest focus for 2025.

It wasn't rebuilt through big gestures. Instead, trust was rebuilt through tiny moments:

• Asking "Do you need me to listen or do you need solutions?" (Instead of arriving with my pre-cooked CEO answers)
• Using myself as a guinea pig for a deeply personal wellbeing survey and actually being honest about the results
• Regular check-ins without forcing conversations

This isn’t a story with villains. It’s about how quickly good intentions can create broken systems. How structure can divide. How silence can break trust. How even companies that teach others to work better can get it wrong themselves.

Listen to the full story today.

Today's Part 1 episode goes deep into the challenges we faced - including the moment I received an "ugly-cry" phone call while I was on leave. (FYI: I helped. Sometimes boundaries matter less than demonstrated care.)

Part 2 (dropping next Thursday) goes even further into how we actually fixed our culture.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the episode. Have you lived through something similar? What helped you rebuild?

My hope is that more leaders start talking about when things go wrong. Not just the success stories. The messy middle. The near-misses. The times we almost broke what we were trying to build.

That's where the real learning happens.

Cheers

Amantha

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