Hello hello 2025! One Percent Better is back! And welcome to all the new subscribers who have joined :)

Let's get on with today's programming...

I had promised a close friend to go with her to Chadstone Shopping Centre on Sunday. For those unfamiliar with the retail labyrinth that is Chaddy, imagine if someone took every shop in Melbourne, stuffed them into a giant pressure cooker, added a generous sprinkle of hangry children, and topped it with a parking system designed by a supervillain who failed architecture school. Oh, and is was also 36 degrees.

I brought with me a mood that could only be described as 'Melbourne hipster meets instant coffee'. I'd spent hours staring at my computer screen trying to make progress on a writing project that simply was refusing to cooperate.

I tried to hide my mood (reality: I failed spectacularly).

That's when my friend, bless her truth-telling soul, hit me with: "Amantha, you seem off."

First thought: gasp Has she broken the Sacred Social Contract™ of Pretending Everything's Fine?

Second thought: Oh right, this is the friend who once told me my new haircut made me look like I'd taken inspiration from a YouTube tutorial titled 'How to Cut Your Own Hair (Not Clickbait!)'. Honesty is kind of her thing.

So I admitted it. Yes, I was being about as pleasant as a paper cut. Yes, my morning had been as productive as trying to teach a cat to fetch. And yes, I knew I could have cancelled, but my anti-flakiness programming runs deep in my DNA.

And then, like magic (or basic human psychology), the cloud lifted. Being called out for being Grumpy McGrumpface actually made me... less grumpy.

At work, we've mastered the art of pretending to ignore the obvious. We sit in meetings where the eye-rolling is visible from space, where tension between teams is thick enough to cut with a knife, and what do we do? We save it all for later, buried in carefully worded Slack messages with just the right amount of passive-aggressive emojis.

What if instead of this elaborate dance of denial, someone just said: "Hey, I'm noticing some tension here. Should we talk about it?"

Remember that Feelings Wheel I wrote about? Think of this as its extroverted cousin - instead of just naming your own emotions, you're naming the elephant in the room.

The beautiful thing about naming what's happening is that it's like popping a balloon of awkwardness. Sure, there's a brief moment of "Oh god, someone actually said it," but then comes the relief. It's like finally admitting to everyone that yes, we can all smell the fish someone microwaved for lunch, and no, we're not okay with it.

So here's my challenge to you: Next time you're in a situation where the unspoken is louder than what's being said, be the person who names it. Be my friend at Chaddy.

Just maybe pick a better location than a crowded shopping centre in the middle of summer. Some revelations are better had with air conditioning and a convenient car park.

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